youth worker, youth ministry, inner armor


By Doug Franklin January 16, 2012

I am surprised by how willing I am to fight. Whenever I am wronged, I want to fight. I have a high justice value and I see the world as black and white so I have a natural bent to want to fight. I wish I could  keep my desire down. The thing I hate the most about fighting on teams and in organizations is that it waste so much time and energy. Most churches have people like me, people who want to make a big deal out of every little disagreement. So how do we deal with people who like to fight? Well being one a have a few insights:

1. Time and space
People who like to fight are usually like a bull in a china shop. They come in like thunder and once they cool down they see thing in a new perspective. Give your fighters lots of time and space to think and cool down. Don’t react to their craziness, keep a cool head and soon things will settled down.

2. Explain why
Once the fighter has cooled down explain the thinking behind the decision. Fighters see only the truth they want to see. Explaining the reason you made a decision will go a long way to them understand the process of the decision.

3. Stand up
Fighters can be bullies so be ready to stand up against them. They will try all kinds of intimidation to get you to change your decisions but don’t. Bullies kill churches, people leave because of them. If you stand up, you will be helping a lot of other people who this person could hurt.

About the Author

Doug Franklin

Doug Franklin is the president of LeaderTreks, an innovative leadership development organization focusing on students and youth workers. Doug and his wife, Angie, live in West Chicago, Illinois. They don’t have any kids, but they have 2 dogs that think they are children. Diesel and Penelope are Weimaraners  who never leave their side. Doug grew up in…  Read More