youth worker, youth ministry, student ministry, leadership, relationship

Leadership is relationship

By Doug Franklin August 3, 2009

You can’t lead people if they don’t know you care about them. The problem comes when you have to lead people that don’t want a relationship with you. This can be tricky, you want respect, you even want to treat them with respect but they don’t seem to want to follow.

A few suggestions

1.    Be consistent
Deal with them the same way you deal with others. Let your values speak for you. Follow God’s commands to love one another. Often times we want to take action, either by being hard on them or doing things to make them like you. Remember, they have made a choice not to have a relationship with you. Your job is to just keep caring for them like you care for the others on your team.

2.    Be open
In a causal atmosphere and when the time is right, ask them why there is a lack of relationship. Maybe something was said that was misunderstood or maybe people misquoted you to this team member. Clear the air and see if common ground can be reached.

3.    Make a change
Over time, if you can’t reach common ground with this person and they refuse to have any kind of relationship with you (or don’t respect you), make a change and get them off your team. It’s not helping them or you to have them on your team.

Relationships make life fun and they make being in leadership great. If you can’t have good, honest relationship with people, make a change. It will free you up and make leading a joy.

About the Author

Doug Franklin

Doug Franklin is the president of LeaderTreks, an innovative leadership development organization focusing on students and youth workers. Doug and his wife, Angie, live in West Chicago, Illinois. They don’t have any kids, but they have 2 dogs that think they are children. Diesel and Penelope are Weimaraners  who never leave their side. Doug grew up in…  Read More