youth worker, youth ministry, confrontation, relationships

The Cost of Not Confronting

By Doug Franklin March 16, 2012

Confronting can be so painful; we feel bad about telling someone they are missing the mark and we look stupid as we fumble through the conversation. So many of us just don’t confront and we let it go. Push it down the road but what is the cost of not confronting? What will happen to our volunteer team, students and ministry? We have to realize that the cost of not confronting is greater than having the hard conversation. So let’s get practical about having tough conversations. Consider the follow:

1. Timing is Key
Confrontation can go bad if we are not prepared. When we respond in the moment we say dumb stuff. When confronting give yourself time to cool off and think through what you want to say. Remember always say some encouraging stuff along with hard stuff.

2. Prepared Talk
Prepare what you want to say. This way you will be confident when speaking and come off more in control of your thoughts and emotions. Get to the point and don’t water it down; you don’t want to have this conversation again in two weeks.

3. Focus on Benefits
Remember that this conversation is part of leadership and will help the person you are confronting and your ministry. If we care we will confront. The only person who is helped by your avoidance is you and as it turns out it really isn’t helping.

About the Author

Doug Franklin

Doug Franklin is the president of LeaderTreks, an innovative leadership development organization focusing on students and youth workers. Doug and his wife, Angie, live in West Chicago, Illinois. They don’t have any kids, but they have 2 dogs that think they are children. Diesel and Penelope are Weimaraners  who never leave their side. Doug grew up in…  Read More