Secrets of a Seasoned Volunteer

The year was 2010 and the last of our 4 boys headed off to college and suddenly the house became quiet—too quiet! I did not realize how much I would miss the sound of high school kids in the basement playing pool and ping pong, chaperoning trips to Washington DC and Disneyland, and preparing our kids for mission trips. I never thought I would hear myself say it, but I missed being with students! So, I decided to volunteer with the Student Ministry at our church. The past six years have flown by. I have been to New Orleans twice, Spain, Kansas City, various retreats, and hosted a number of events in our home. This past few weeks, my social media has reminded me of these experiences. I decided it was a good time to reflect back and think about what I have learned over the years.

Never leave your cell phone unattended. You will have 250 selfies in a matter of seconds
Always have ibuprofen and Band-Aids within arm’s reach
Girls have a lot of words
Girls open their hearts and share more while coloring
If you open your door and bake some cookies, students will come
It is my job to say the same thing as parents, I just have a different voice
Communication with parents is essential
Praying for my students is just as important as being with my students
On an 18 hour van ride, choose someone to sit behind you who does not crack their gum and if a video is made of that interaction, keep in mind it should not be used as a promo for volunteer behavior
If you take photos at an event, it is expected you have those photos up within an hour
If you have a real camera, keep in mind #1
Planning ahead is absolutely crucial and YES, the details are important
You can tell the students how long their shorts have to be for a mission trip, but they will ask you the same question about it 20 times, in hopes that it might change (Just go to Kohls, girls)
Doug Franklin and LeaderTreks is an invaluable resource in helping youth leaders
NO cell phones on mission trips or conferences. I will repeat this, NO cell phones on mission trips or conferences….enough said!
If you made a rule about those cell phones, stand firm in the consequences
Don’t be afraid to go into the mess
Take time to listen. Just listen, don’t solve
Love students where they are at
If a student needs help beyond what you can give, advocate for them to get that help
Laugh with students
Cry with students
If there is a sparkly jeweled pillow in the room you are staying, just make the best of it—you are making memories
The REAL youth ministry happens outside of Sundays and Wednesdays
The real bonding with students happens in the one-on-one interaction
There is a difference between mentoring and discipleship
Go to where the students are: their games, their concerts, their school
Cancel the dinner reservations and stay at hospice. You don’t want to miss the blessing of joining a family in singing praises to the Lord in the midst of the pain of losing their mom
Take a girl who didn’t get asked to Prom out for a fancy dinner with your husband on Prom night. Tell her how special she is and remind her of God’s plans for her
Give lots of hugs
Send written notes of encouragement—beyond texts, beyond a Facebook message—actual written notes
Create a safe place for open sharing and listening
Girls can braid hair like I have never seen before
After a week-long mission trip in the summer, students stink. Embrace the stink
Ideas and plans must be followed by implementation
Students are smarter than you give them credit for. They will know if you are truly wholeheartedly engaged or not. You better not fake it
The student acting out the most or being the most annoying is probably the one who needs love the most
A youth leader can only serve through the power of Jesus Christ
One-on-one follow up is critical, particularly after retreats and mission trips
Take the names of all students in group, write them on pieces of paper, and pray for them, by name, daily
If they don’t have a Bible, get them a Bible
It’s ok, not to know the answer, look for answers together with the student
Do NOT stop communicating with students after they graduate high school
You do not have to be in a specific role in your church’s youth ministry in order to serve students. In fact, sometimes you can make a bigger difference outside of that
A youth ministry program with a lack of student leadership is missing vital opportunities
Personal invitations work best when trying to encourage students’ participation. It lets them know they are wanted and needed.
Keep in mind that students want you to spend time with them. Discover them, connect with them, and pursue them
There will be times of weariness and discouragement.
More and more young Christian young people are walking away from their faith in their early 20’s. Now is not the time to abandon them
It is critically important to prepare our high school students for heading off to college and how to find a church and get involved in a Christian ministry

After my kids moved out, I found myself needing to add some more “noise” to my life. During the years that my kids were in Jr. High and High School age, I loved being a part of the youth ministry. Now that they have moved on, I still love being in the trenches! I hope you will use this list as an encouragement and as a guidepost for your own ministry or for adult volunteers in your church. The students that I have had the privilege of working with have taught me so much these past six years and I look forward to the new lessons they will teach me in the future! What does your youth ministry list look like?